Brötchen

MMMMM.... Do you smell that? This morning, I enjoyed the first Brötchen of my new life in Germany. I've had plenty of these before on each trip here, but this one was a milestone in my life: my first Brötchen as a hopefully long-term resident in Europe. And here is my Brötchen after I had "aufgepimpt" it. If you don't know what that means, you can ask privately. :)

Yes, for breakfast I had half a Brötchen with ham/cheese/mustard, and the other half with CHOCOLATE spread. This is standard practice in many circles here! This wasn't Nutella, but something even better. A cocoa spread from Italy with a higher concentration of chocolate in it than Nutella. Needless to say, this won't be a daily, or even weekly occurrence. But what a way to celebrate!

And then this evening, I took part in a small group meeting, doing Lectio Divina through Mark 10: 13-16. I heard God telling me to drop my judgments, my "important" work that I often put above God's real work, and come to him, just as the children were trying to do. If I were busier coming to Jesus, who has his arms outstretched to receive me and all who come, I wouldn't spend so much time worrying about the affairs of others. I might stop judging, both other people and myself. I'm not the gatekeeper anyway! If I would just look around, to see who else is trying to come to Jesus, I think I would be surprised. And then, as Jesus said, I will be much more likely to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Man, Jesus. You're tough. But at the same time, not. Don't always know what to make of you, but "intriguing" is an apt description. Yes. I'm certainly intrigued. And I hope to keep that up!

Here

I'm here.

Finally.

I know some people spend years, decades, even, praying, hoping to get to the "mission field." For me, however, this is still all so new. Yes, I did come to Germany for the first time 10 years ago, and that's when my path started. Well, it started long before that, but that was the first tangible sign I can point to in my life, as the beginning of my yellow brick road.

But coming here in this context, coming to work in "full-time ministry," well, it's still a bit of a surprise. I've certainly accustomed myself to it, and it feels like I'm home in that sense. Germany isn't home yet (it has only been 2 days!), but when I think of WHY I'm here, that feels like home in my soul.

Yes. This is what I was made for.

I'm sitting in the guest room in my field director's apartment in Köln. I sat here, on the same bed, reading by the same lamp, exactly one year ago. I came then, after being reluctantly and astonishingly (yes, I'm just that stubborn) convinced by the Spirit, to meet these people whom I now will begin to call "teammates," and to try this whole thing on. It took some time to get my hands in, but soon enough, the answer became clear. It fit like a glove.

Then a whirlwind of activity: finishing teaching music in Boston, getting appointed with GEM in Colorado in June, and since then, meeting with hundreds of amazing people to talk about this ministry, singing about it, going through cross-cultural training, praying too seldom, often trusting more in myself than in God.

And yet, here I am.

It's still surreal, and I suppose will remain so for months, perhaps years to come. I'm OK with that. I just hope and pray (please pray with me for this, I need HELP!) that I won't get so busy, as I am wont to do, that I stop to be surprised and astonished. I don't want to take this for granted. I don't want to take God for granted. I want to dig into this, be fully present.

I want to reflect the rest, the peace, the beauty and vulnerability and strength of Jesus. I want those things to be present in me. I don't like constantly rushing around, doing things in my own strength. It becomes boring after a while. So void of creativity, of color, of life.

These words from a wise friend today sum up WELL the most prominent lesson in my life right now:

"There are so many changes to be made, so many details to work out - yet you can hold on to something: you can rest in Jesus. He will provide, sustain, and hold you close. Come to Him with your excitement and your weariness. Take on what he calls you to do and nothing else. You will find rest in Him."

Hoo boy. That's DIFFICULT! But, amen!

One of the first things I think Jesus is calling me to take on, is learning how to wash my face in these TINY bathroom sinks without drenching the entire room! Baby steps. "Schritt für Schritt." :)

Sunny with a high of 53 degrees

What a perfect March day in Boston! This is a great way to spend my last weekend here, with good weather.

I should have written so many times over the past month, but somehow never found my way to it. There is LOTS to say, but that'll have to wait until later. Like, later as in when I'm in Germany. I leave on Monday! That's only 2 full days more in Boston. If I think about it, I'll cry. And I'm not ready to do that yet.

I should totally be asleep by now. I'm exhausted.

What a great idea, going to sleep. Good night!