Rules of thumb: Ridiculously long road trip 2010 edition

First Rule of Thumb: Always be prepared

It sounds so simple. But it's really difficult to be prepared for every eventuality while traveling by car across half of this gigantic mass of land we call the United States of America! Before I left Boston on December 21, I had made a mental note of several things that I would probably run out of during my 5 weeks away from home. One of the most important of these was contact solution. I wear my glasses so often these days, I thought it wouldn't matter. WRO...O...O...ONG. The second day of my trip, I stepped on my glasses, and broke them in half. How? I stupidly put them on the floor when going to bed, and when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't see where I had put them, because I obviously can't see without my glasses! It's so sad. I LOVED those glasses! Several hours later I even took the month-old lenses from said glasses to an eyewear outlet to find new frames so I could continue wearing my glasses often, thus making due with the amount of lens solution I had, but it didn't work out. That's a tale for another time. (Barbara, if only that "semper paratus" pocket kit you gave me for Christmas last year were big enough to hold contact solution!)

Second Rule of Thumb: Always, always, always read the instructions

As previously stated, I thought I could make due with the amount of contact lens solution remaining in the last bottle I had. Pictured here is the solution in question. There are two curious things about this particular shot. It's 1) blurry, and 2) sideways. There are perfectly good explanations for this. I'll get to them in a minute.

You can't read the red banner at the top of the label, but here is what it says:

"Use only the lens case provided." There is also a further warning on the side of the label: "Do not use a flat lens case. Clear Care ONLY works with the special lens case provided." They even provide pictures to ensure that idiots like me follow the instructions. None of this helped me, however, because it never even occurred to me to read the instructions. "It's just contact lens solution, I don't have enough to fill the case they provide, and I'm sure it will be fine if I use my flat case," I thought. Again, WRO...O...O...ONG. Why? HYDROGEN PEROXIDE is the first ingredient listed! They are NOT kidding when they say not to use a flat case. When I went to put the lens in my eye, I thought I was going to DIE! I had to pry my eyelids open to clumsily fish the offending lens out of my eye to make the terrible pain stop! This picture is blurry because 1) I couldn't see ANYTHING after this, and it is sideways because 2) I was knocked to the ground by the shock of such pain! I spent the next 20 minutes rinsing my eye with water. That was fun.

Third Rule of Thumb: Don't step on your glasses.

Fourth Rule of Thumb: Make a list of the things you need, and GO OUT AND BUY THEM! Seriously, Kristi!